


Dream of A Martyr's Embrace

by KitschyKestrel



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anal Sex, Angst, Dream Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prison, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Smut, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24518167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitschyKestrel/pseuds/KitschyKestrel
Summary: “You’re alive?”“It seems so.”“I see.” Suzaku’s face contorted, then came to rest. “A dream again.”It was all Lelouch could do to hide his surprise. He had planned for anything when he entered the room.Acceptance. Hatred.He hadn’t expected denial.“That’s right. Just a dream,” he echoed. “Make what you want of it.”This is a retelling of the reunion scene from Lelouch of the Resurrection, encompassing not only a real, physical (*ahem*) reunion between the two but also exploring the emotional toll of the Zero Requiem on Suzaku and their relationship.
Relationships: Kururugi Suzaku & Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia
Comments: 9
Kudos: 125





	Dream of A Martyr's Embrace

Suzaku’s eyes opened to the sound of something stirring, rousing him from a sleep he had no memory of succumbing to.

Sleep was too strong a word for how rested it left him. Even with eyes closed and breathing sluggish his mind was racing, body crying out along the lacerations that marked him.

It wasn’t sleep at all then.

He had succumbed to the interrogator’s whip, blacked out and woken up in these barren surroundings. Three stone walls and a towering window, arched like a cathedral’s but lacking the beauty. Suzaku was unable to make out the outside world through the frosted glass, and the panes’ were set in circling metal frames that Suzaku could not damage.

He had tried.

He knew it was day when cool, grey light leeched through and illuminated swirling motes of dust. He knew it was night when he could see nothing but the blinking light of a security camera high in the corner.

It was day now. That was all he knew, but he took comfort in it.

Even if it meant little.

Even if it meant nothing at all.

There was the noise again. He sat upright and felt the way his battered body resisted the movement, the way the bandages chafed his skin.

He swung his legs out of the cot.

The thin mattress sagged in its metal frame.

There was a shadow spilled across the floor, and Suzaku jerked his gaze to the window to see a figure lounging on the stone bench of the windowsill.

The figure’s leg was bent to their chest, chin resting on one knee.

Their face was turned away from Suzaku, staring out the window they couldn’t see past. Dark hair spilled down over the high collar of a sterile white jumpsuit.

Suzaku surged to his feet on instinct, ready to defend himself with what little strength he had. The cot creaked at the sudden movement, and the figure turned its head lazily to face him.

“Le… Lelouch?”

It was little more than a whisper, but those familiar features formed a lilted smile.

His face was haloed in the light. Straight, dark hair brushed the edges of orchid-colored eyes.

“Is it really you?”

Suzaku took a faltering step forward, and then another, feeling his legs strain under the weight.

“Come and check me.” Lelouch’s resonant voice echoed through the chamber, the familiar sound a shock to Suzaku’s ears in this room so long deprived of sound.

Suzaku approached and reached out a tremulous hand. Lelouch didn’t speak, didn’t react besides turning his face towards the touch.

He was a phantom.

He was a hallucination.

His fingers dented the soft skin of Lelouch’s cheek. It was warm.

It wasn’t possible.

Suzaku seized suddenly at Lelouch’s collar, fumbling with the zipper, forcing the fabric down over his shoulders until his chest was exposed.

Lelouch’s eyes widened, but he didn’t move to stop him.

Suzaku’s fingers traced across the red winged mark blazed against his throat, following an unspoken path down to rest underneath his sternum.

The skin was smooth, unbroken.

It was the place his sword had pierced Lelouch’s heart, had spilled its contents across a grisly stage.

Suzaku reeled backwards.

“You’re alive?”

“It seems so.”

“I see.” Suzaku’s face contorted, then came to rest. “A dream again.”

It was all Lelouch could do to hide his surprise. He had planned for anything when he entered the room.

Acceptance. Hatred.

He hadn’t expected denial.

“Even in my sleep there’s no peace…” Suzaku muttered. “You…”

His head dropped, hands balled into fists at his sides.

“You left me, coward.”

Even hoarse and trembling, his voice contained malice that made Lelouch’s heartbeat quicken.

Lelouch stood, brought himself to his full height in front of Suzaku.

“That’s right. Just a dream.” he echoed.

Suzaku took a shuddering breath, chin tilting to meet Lelouch’s gaze.

The resentment in his eyes was hard to look at. It was equally hard to look away from.

“Make what you want of it,” Lelouch taunted.

Suzaku’s fist flew like a taut wire snapped, arching through the air and meeting Lelouch’s ribs.

He let himself fall, let his legs come out from under him as he tripped backwards over the stone slab.

He had expected this.

After all this time, it was too much to wish for a happy reunion.

Suzaku was on him in an instant, striking the second blow across his face. Pain bloomed across his cheek and radiated outwards.

“Do you know what I… what everyone had to go through?!” Suzaku’s teeth were bared, looming over Lelouch like a predator who had cornered his prey.

He had expected this. Maybe he had even hoped for it.

“Zero was your idea, and you… you left me to clean up your mess!”

Suzaku reared back for another blow and suddenly swayed backwards off balance, his face going white.

Lelouch reached out to steady him but Suzaku shoved him away, wincing.

“You’re bleeding.” He fought for his voice to stay steady, even as his lungs heaved against aching ribs.

The bandaging around Suzaku’s shoulder was spotted with blood.

Suzaku looked at the crimson spots, bewildered.

“Even in a dream…” he hissed. “Why…”

He lifted a trembling fist high above his head, preparing another blow.

Lelouch willed his face to fall back into that unfaltering expression, the carefully crafted mask that was second nature to him now.

Opaque eyes, a carefree smirk.

He turned his face away, but the hit never came.

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Suzaku’s expression clouded, and Lelouch felt a chill of premonition as the fist uncurled and came to rest on his shoulder.

“Something like this would never make you crack.”

Suzaku raised his knee and forced it between Lelouch’s legs, where the sudden pressure elicited a gasp.

“Suzaku…” Lelouch pressed at Suzaku’s shoulders, trying to deter him even as he leaned closer.

“You’re a dream, aren’t you?” Suzaku’s voice was dangerously flat. “I can make what I want of it.”

The words sent a shudder through Lelouch as Suzaku pushed his hands away.

“What is it you want?”

Suzaku smiled, a small tug at the corner of his lips that did nothing to counteract the menace in his gaze.

“One more time.”

Lelouch had expected this, too.

Suzaku forced the jumpsuit down past his waist effortlessly. His hand wrapped around Lelouch’s length, eking out a rhythm with his dry palm that was as painful as it was pleasurable.

Lelouch’s hand seized onto Suzaku’s wrist, stilling its movements.

“It hurts…” he gasped.

“It does?” Suzaku’s voice sounded faintly surprised. His lips were at Lelouch’s ear, breath making him flinch.

It did.

The sensation felt sharp and foreign, even though his mind told him he had felt this before.

Suzaku pulled away to look down at Lelouch, fully exposed, his orchid eyes shining.

“What a vivid dream. Your face… you look so real.”

There was something changed in him. His expression was cold, entirely focused on his task.

If Suzaku didn’t think any of this was real… What reason was there to move slowly? To be gentle?

“Give me your hands,” Suzaku soothed.

Lelouch didn’t move, only blinked up at him.

“Just like we used to.”

Freshly restored, his consciousness searched for memories of Suzaku’s touch, for the expression blazed across his face. Memories that had long since settled into dust, suddenly stirred by a gust of wind.

_Just like we used to_.

Of course. There had always been this between them.

Memories came in flashes, times spent hidden away at Ashford.

Suzaku’s face pressed to his neck, back when his cheeks were still round with youth.

Their fingers intertwined beneath feather pillows, flexing, palms sweating.

Lelouch brought his hands up into the air and let Suzaku encircle them, pulling him upright.

Suzaku turned him around, face pressed to the cold glass. Lelouch’s arms were pinned above his head, Suzaku’s chest pressed to the curve of his naked spine. The white jumpsuit was pooled now at his ankles, leaving his skin chilled in the open air.

Suzaku ran his tongue down the dip between Lelouch’s shoulderblades, a shock of moisture that made Lelouch flinch.

They had done all this before, so why did it feel so…?

He looked over his shoulder and found himself drowning in Suzaku’s gaze.

“Stay still,” Suzaku ordered.

Lelouch did, even as Suzaku released the grip pinning Lelouch’s arms and slipped his fingers inside his mouth. He removed them, glistening with spit, and fixed Lelouch with a look that made his throat run dry.

His mind told him he had felt this, but his body… his body jolted as Suzaku’s fingers slipped inside.

Lelouch had to look away, to hide the way that shock colored his expression as Suzaku began to work him.

He was being fast, and sloppy. Why wouldn’t he when none of this was real?

Nothing took time in dreams. Sensations were sudden, or nonexistent.

Suzaku’s mouth settled on the curve of his ass, and Lelouch gasped beyond his own volition.

“Mm,” Suzaku hummed teasingly. “You’ve never made it so easy.”

He thought of Suzaku’s fingers tracing the spotless skin that had once marked a killing blow, and remembered.

His body and his mind didn’t match. He was a recreation, spare parts glued back together.

His memories were of feelings and sensations his own skin had never felt.

Sensations he was feeling now, magnified, burning like fire.

He didn’t think he’d feel anything from Suzaku again. Not the strike of his fist, not the warmth of his skin, not the heat of his gaze.

This was much more than that, more than he had any reason to hope for.

It hurt, but that was okay too.

Death had lowered his expectations.

Lelouch’s hands clenched to fists as Suzaku’s fingers moved faster. He held Lelouch by the hip, rocking him back every time his body shied away from the sensation.

“Hah… hah…”

Was that his own breath, so loud in the cavernous room?

“Lelouch.”

Suzaku pulled away, leaving him shaken and panting. He heard the sound of fabric rustling but didn’t have time to react before Suzaku was pressed against him again, all of him, his length warm and straining between Lelouch’s thighs. “I know it’s fast, but… I don’t know when I’ll wake up.”

Suzaku spat and Lelouch lurched at the sensation of moisture sliding down his ass. His chest was flush with the cold glass window, back burning with heat from Suzaku’s body.

Suzaku’s hands gripped his ass, straining himself against Lelouch’s entrance.

“Suza- ngh!”

He entered with one sharp thrust of his hips, and Lelouch choked on his utterance.

Everything went away, his thoughts vacating in an instant. All the swirling paths of his consciousness coalesced into this one moment. Suzaku’s shallow breaths on his back. The pressure of his fingertips. The sweat building where their skin met.

And the feeling…

A sharp snap of Suzaku’s hips and Lelouch’s head dropped between his shoulders, hair falling over his eyes to obscure all but his lips parted, gasping.

Another snap, and his head reeled.

His breathing was quickly becoming ragged, but so was Suzaku’s.

It felt as blindingly biting as the first time.

It _was_ the first time. For this body, this skin, this him.

For a time he was so lost in his own senses that Suzaku’s voice barely reached him.

“Ah… Le-Lelouch…”

Suzaku’s voice was tremulous, and his hips suddenly slowed, then stilled. His warmth evaporated off Lelouch’s skin as he pulled away, leaving him cold and dizzy.

Lelouch’s legs sank out from under him. He rolled to gaze up at Suzaku through half-lidded eyes.

“Why…” Suzaku’s voice whispered. “Why even here…?”

He was pale, the color draining fast from his face.

His verdant green eyes were glassy, unfocused as they looked through Lelouch. He turned towards his bed and took a few faltering steps towards it before falling into it, catching himself on the mattress.

Fresh red was pooling behind his bandages.

“Why does it hurt?”

There was a lot of blood, and Lelouch realized he would have to end Suzaku’s delusion soon, to treat his wounds before it was too late.

Lelouch teetered to his feet, closing the distance between them.

“You should lay down,” he instructed.

Suzaku tried to push him away again but it was half-hearted, and Lelouch crouched to grab him under the arms and haul him onto the mattress.

Had he always been so heavy, so tall? There was a time when Suzaku didn’t come up past his shoulder.

Suzaku’s hair fanned across the sheets as he laid back, damp strands sticking to his forehead.

There was silence between them, broken only by their labored breathing.

“I wanted you to know how it feels… to be powerless.” Suzaku’s eyes were still blazing with an animosity that didn’t quite reach his voice. “Just like the rest of us.”

“Powerless?” Lelouch looked into Suzaku’s face and smiled wistfully.

He thought of their time in the capital palace, when the two had found themselves on the same side of the conflict at last, only to feel more distant than ever before. An Emperor and a Knight, pacing empty rooms in empty halls of an empty palace.

“It’s comforting… to feel like you can’t do anything.” Lelouch’s confession was slow, thoughtful, and Suzaku’s breath stilled as he listened. “If you can’t do anything, you don’t even need to try.”

When each former friend was led to despise them, only they were left to lick each other’s wounds clean. Shaking trysts in gilded beds and satin sheets, those moments were their only escape. A brief moment in time when their minds could be free of the Zero Requiem looming over them, from what would come after it.

From the sword leaned in the corner of the Emperor’s chambers, waiting to taste blood.

“You were the only person I could trust to take control, so that I could let go. That’s what I was thinking… all those times before.” Lelouch swept his hair behind his ear, eyes darting back to Suzaku’s.

“Was it selfish of me, to use you that way?”

The question hung in the air, swirling unanswered in the silence between them.

“Now I know this is a dream,” Suzaku sighed softly. “You never thought twice about using people to get your way.”

That’s right, he could say what he wanted to Suzaku, but here and now he was just a fantasy.

A figment of Suzaku’s imagination.

He was a ghost.

Lelouch suddenly rose to his feet and swung his leg over the mattress, climbing astride Suzaku.

“Le… Lelouch!”

“You’re right, I didn’t.”

He would be the Lelouch that Suzaku remembered then.

Nothing more than a memory.

“You were my knight, after all,” Lelouch smiled coquettishly.

Suzaku’s chest heaved against Lelouch’s thighs, gripping his hips.

Lelouch lurched forward and set his lips on Suzaku’s, quieting his protests as their cocks pressed flush together between their chests.

“Let me use you again.”

He rocked forward on his knees, guiding Suzaku to his opening and watching his pupils dilate as he sank into him. Suzaku’s hands gripped Lelouch’s thighs, nails leaving indentations. He could probably feel the tension in them, the way his muscles were straining as he shifted deeper, and the thought made his face flush hot.

The first time had been just like this. Lelouch too prideful to be bent over, realizing too late the way being on top of the other exposed him to the fullness of Suzaku’s gaze.

That gaze was just as hungry now as it traveled down Lelouch to the place where their bodies met.

His hands pressed down on Lelouch’s thighs, the only warning before his hips snapped up so sharply Lelouch gasped.

“Stand still.” he pressed his palm to Suzaku’s chest, trying to stop him.

Suzaku ignored him, and Lelouch leaned his weight on his hand to still him.

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

He was watching the blood pooling in his bandages, staining the sheets.

“I don’t care.”

Suzaku grabbed his arm and pulled Lelouch down with it, pulled him into a kiss designed to distract him as he continued thrusting into the other boy. Drowning out his protests with tongue and teeth until Lelouch’s speech dissolved into slurs and gasps and their kisses decomposed.

“I wanted to be the only person in the world who could see you like this.”

Suzaku’s pace slowed as if to prove his point, and Lelouch pulled back to escape the intensity of his expression.

“I wanted you to need me.”

“I always did,” Lelouch placated, conscious of the other boy’s inescapable grip on his thighs, holding him helpless to the grinding of Suzaku’s hips.

“Not for _that._ ” Suzaku set his fist against the absent scar on Lelouch’s chest. “Not for some plan of Zero’s. I wanted you to need _me_ …”

Suzaku pulled him down into another kiss, more frantic than the last, one that didn’t end until they both ran out of breath.

“Even if it was just for this…”

Suzaku wrapped a hand around Lelouch’s member, letting the swaying of their bodies provide incessant friction.

“Hah, Suz… that’s…”

Lelouch muffled himself with the back of his hand, knowing Suzaku wouldn’t stop, knowing his cries would only encourage him.

“Was that silly of me to hope for?” Suzaku seemed to barely hear him, tangled in his own thoughts.  
“From the one person who never needed anyone else…”

Suzaku’s pace was already dizzying when he pulled Lelouch’s hand away from his mouth and held it captive. His voice emerged unfiltered, each desperate utterance driving Suzaku further, faster.

“Ngh, pleas-se…”

He didn’t know what he was asking for. Relief. Escape. But it was enough to pull Suzaku out of his heated haze if only for a moment, to look Lelouch in the eyes with a frenzied desperation.

It dawned on him with crystal clarity. The moment that Suzaku was reaching for, that he was driving Lelouch towards.

He wasn’t chasing a climax.

He was forcing a confession.

He was dreaming after all, and there was one thing he so desperately wanted to hear.

Lelouch leaned to Suzaku’s ear, let the sound of his ragged breath elicit a shudder from the other.

“I need you.”

Suzaku’s breathing stilled.

For one moment the room dissolved away.

His wounds dissolved away.

There was nothing but the warmth between them, the brush of Lelouch’s hair on his cheek, the spill of his breath against Suzaku’s neck.

There was no thought anymore as he brought them both to finish, bodies quaking against each other.

He was conscious only of Lelouch’s face pressed to his collarbone, his moans muffled against his skin, and after the summit his open-mouthed panting leaving moisture behind.

They untangled in silence, Suzaku’s surroundings slowly returning to him along with the sharp pain of his injuries.

His injuries.

The misery came all at once as the adrenaline faded away, and tears pricked the corners of his eyes even as he smiled up at Lelouch from the mattress. The dark-haired boy was standing over his bed again, haloed in the gauzy windowlight, skin sheening with sweat. His face was a blur, everything was a blur, and he realized too late his consciousness was lapsing away again from the pain.

“I don’t want to… wake up…” he slurred, head lolling across the pillow.

His eyes fluttered close.  
  
  
  


When C.C. entered the cell Suzaku was sleeping with his back to the door, a thin blanket pulled over his shoulders.

Lelouch was standing by the bed, but at the sound of the door he turned to face her. His hand moved away from the zipper of his jumpsuit and swept over disheveled hair.

C.C. said nothing, coming to stand beside him and peer down into Suzaku’s sleeping face.

He looked peaceful, despite the blood blooming across his bandages.

“How is he?”

“He’s dreaming.”

He met her gaze, and she could see now there was color in his cheeks despite the careful composure of his expression.

“What will you tell him when he wakes up, about why we’re here?”

Lelouch smiled faintly as if something she said was funny.

“About _how_ you’re here?”

His hand reached out and brushed stray hairs from Suzaku’s eyes, fingers resting on his face.

“I’ll tell him I need him for something.”


End file.
